How to Develop a Friendly Tone of Voice

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A friendly tone of voice will make you seem more approachable and kind and might even win you some friends. You can easily attain this quality with just a little experimentation and practice.


  1. Record yourself speaking as normally as you possibly can. Find a paragraph in a book or newspaper you are reading, and speak as naturally as possible into some recording device. You can often find these in cell phones and computers, or you can buy a tape recorder at your local electronics store.
  2. Watch yourself speak by standing in front of a mirror while reading the same paragraph. Watch your face carefully, paying special attention to how your mouth moves and your facial expressions.
  3. Identify where you need to improve by listening as objectively as you can to your recording and observing yourself in the mirror. What were your first impressions of your speaking voice?
  4. Pay attention to common problems. Most people have a similar idea as to what the ideal speaking voice is. These qualities vary only slightly.
    • Varying pitch. Avoid the dreaded monotone by raising and lowering your voice to emphasize or de-emphasize certain points of what you are saying. This often varies by region, so pay attention to your friends and neighbors as they speak.
    • Soft volume. Nobody wants to be yelled at, so speak just a little softer that you normally would, especially when talking to someone who is physically close to you.
    • Relaxed tone. If there is tension in your throat or chest, your voice will sound hoarse and forced, almost as if you have laryngitis. Relax your upper body, including your shoulders, neck and abdominal muscles, and your voice will sound more gentle and pleasant.
  5. Practice your new speaking voice. Record and watch yourself again, and decide whether you did an adequate job at correcting the problems you identified earlier. Be careful not to overdo it; your voice will sound obviously fake. Once you have struck a balance that you like to listen to, practice reading out loud or even talking on the phone with close friends.


  • Try asking a close friend or mentor their candid opinion on you voice, both before and after you try to change it. They can offer a more objective opinion, which will prove invaluable.


  • Speaking too much or too often will hurt your vocal chords and could land you with a permanently damaged voice. Don’t overdo the practice, and take breaks often. If your throat ever starts to hurt, immediately stop and try to stay as silent as possible for as long as necessary.

Things You’ll Need

  • Recording Device
  • Mirror

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